Three weeks to go

As I'm writing this I'm 25 years old. I'm in New Zealand. It's Saturday evening. Normally, I'd be spending quality time with friends - it being the weekend and all! Today, and for the last few days, I've been sick. And so I've stayed home.

I've spent a large part of the time I’ve been sick in front of my laptop. I checked out the trailer for Twilight : New Moon, and I have to say - I can't wait !!!!! Really should re-read the books though before the new movie comes out in November. I read them one after the other - before work, during my lunch breaks, after work, while having dinner - I loved the story and couldn't get enough of it. I’ve slept in. Watched dvds. Friends have come by. I’ve had dinner with my mother.

I also received a letter in the mail from work. My last pay-slip and an official letter saying I'd worked there for the past 2,5 years. You see, last week was my last week there. I'm leaving the city I've lived in for the past 3 years in just under two weeks. I'm leaving the country in just under three weeks. And this time, three weeks from now, I plan to be on the other side of the world.
Strange thought, that.

I've tried my hand at blogging several times. Started my longest-running blog about a year ago. Covered the elections in both the US and in NZ (Barack Obama and John Key respectively), Hanukkah and Christmas, Operation Cast Lead in Gaza. And then I stopped writing. I wanted to write about something that had happened at work, yet wondered if I really should. Wanted to write about things going on in my life, in my world, and yet - I also wondered if I should.

Now, with this really big change going on in my life - I'm thinking I will start writing again. Maybe not full-on blogging, but writing at least. I bought a laptop - the one I'm writing on right now - last month. It was such a powerful feeling to be able to walk into a shop, pick out the laptop I wanted, hand over a little plastic card, and leave - with my new laptop.

I did the same when I bought my airplane ticket. I was on my lunch break. Decided to walk in to the travel agency and ask about prices and availability. Walked out with a plane ticket. Strange. Scary. Exciting. Empowering. Emotional. Exhilarating. And oh, did I mention scary?

My life as I've known it for the past 2,5 years, is going to change completely.
I'm moving to another country where I'll be speaking a different language, where the people are different from the ones here. I'm going home to the country of my birth, the country I left a month after turning 18. I speak the language, I understand the social customs, I'll be living in the same house I grew up in, biking around the same city I was born and raised in. Only this time, I'll be coming home as an adult. I'm no longer a teenager. I'll be 26 in less than a month.

What do I want out of life? I'm not sure. What do I want to do with my life? I don't know. How long do I want to stay in the Netherlands? I'll see. Will I come back to New Zealand? Ummm, next question please. I have my life planned out for the next three weeks. After that - only God knows what my life will be like.

The town I'm goin home to has changed, and I haven't changed with it. And now I'm going back there. I'm looking forward to this new start, to re-connecting with my country, my culture, my language. I'm also very apprehensive. I'm scared that I've turned into too much of a Kiwi (a New Zealander) to actually be happy in the Netherlands. The wonder of dual citizenship is that I can choose which of my two homes I want to live in. Right now - this is what I'm choosing.

I feel slightly apprehensive about this choice, however. When I moved to New Zealand, I was going somewhere new and different. It felt like an adventure. This time around, it feels a little like I'm going backwards. It will be a new adventure in an old place. A place I've spent exactly two weeks in as an adult. I'm going back to the city I grew up in, the city I lived in until I was eight years old. Back to my roots and my family and the things that shaped me, to my language and my culture, to driving on the right, to people being straightforward and outspoken. Back to a nation that's football-mad instead of rugby-mad. Back home. But will it still feel like home, or have I turned into too much of a stranger?

I'm scared, excited and ready for a new start, yet sad at leaving the life I have here.
For all these reasons mentioned above I'm re-starting this blog. To have a place where I can write about my thoughts and my feelings, my experiences and my apprehensions and my changing life. I'm curious to see what life will bring. So life - BRING IT ON !!!!