Photo Challenge Posts - Challenging myself doesn't always work, it seems...
Another weekend approaches and I am reminding myself that I still need to update my blog to add the right photos to not just one but two "Photo Challenge" posts. Actually, I haven't even posted the second Challenge post yet - even though it was supposed to be on my blog some five days ago - and still need to do that. How bad is that? I promised myself and my readers / visitors that I'd post photos every weekend yet haven't done so. Which means I've let myself down, and my readers and visitors too.
As I go through my emails and read articles online, I try to gently nudge myself towards my laptop's "Pictures" folder. That's where the photos live once I've downloaded them from my camera onto my laptop. That's where I need to go. That's where I need to direct my attention. Yet knowing I need to do something and actually doing it are two very different things. I'm not usually this bad with sticking to my promises, with following through. Yet lately, posting and sharing photos doesn't feel as important as it once did.
I share photos of nature and the natural world, of the beauty I see all around me, of trees and plants and flowers, Dutch landscapes and local buildings. I share encouraging messages to go with my photos - remember the beauty all around you, cherish our planet, spend time relaxing and enjoying nature, smile at the world and the world will smile at you, don't stress when you can be zen instead...
It's hard to be positive and to send out positive messages when it seems like the world is (to use a phrase I love the sound of) going to hell in a handbasket. People are fighting and killing each other over pieces of land and questions of who's right or more right, we are polluting the planet and causing entire species to go extinct, we care more about new toys and gadgets than about living beings, we seem to be more interested in selfies and being selfish than in humans and being humane, we kill living beings to eat them as if their lives don't matter one bit compared to ours, we shrug off the wrongs and the bad things in the world, simply because they're not happening anywhere near us which means we simply don't care...
It's hard to be positive when it seems like the world is made up of people who seem to care more about what some pop-star or celebrity is up to than about being kind and compassionate, when more people seem to care about a new game, toy or gadget than about war, abuse and starvation, when more people seem to care about some television show or movie than about real people and the wrongs being done to them.
While it's hard to admit as I like to think of myself as a sensible, peaceful and positive person, I feel a little worn down by the world. Or rather, by humanity. A little like I'm throwing my positivity down the drain because no-one cares anyway. When there's money to be made and fifteen minutes of fame to strive for, why would people care about the big picture anyway? This pessimism doesn't suit me, however it can be hard to shake off. While I'm certainly a little wiser and more mature than I once was, I am no saint or example of inner peace and patience. Compared to true heroes like Gandhi, Mother Theresa and the Dalai Lama, I'm a hot mess who barely keeps it together. Yet what matters is that I try and that I keep going, that I don't give up. So, I tell myself that this too will pass and that my funk will turn to positivity once again - it's only a matter of time.
I manage to look through some older photos and upload a single photo to my Facebook page. I'm happy about that - uploading a photo to social media is a positive sign, even if I didn't add a positive and / or inspirational quote. As I check another email and follow another link, I feel myself becoming engrossed in other matters not related to posting photos or quotes. War, famine, disaster, heartache, innocents being raped, tortured, killed. As I read about all that is wrong in the world, the positivity I felt upon posting that photo to Facebook disappears. Again, I try steering my thinking towards my blog and the photos I want to post, the photos I should post. Having read about death and disaster and all we're doing to hurt the planet and those who inhabit it with us, editing photos gets put in the "too hard" basket. There's a part of me that wants to change my thinking, wants to be positive right now instead of negative, wants to feel hope instead of despair. Yet that voice gets drowned out by the overwhelming sense of futility I feel. What are we doing to our planet? What are we doing to each other? Will we ever learnt to think and act like adults instead of children?
Needing a break from feeling bad about things far beyond my own control, I get up to grab a snack. I stand at the window staring out at the world. Birds fly past the window as the trees outside gently sway in the wind. The sun is shining, a pretty looking cloud catches my attention. Outside, a mother walks past with two children, they're all singing a song, smiling and looking happy. The birds flying past, they may not be singing or smiling, yet I get the feeling that they're enjoying themselves, that they too are happy.
As I stand at the window looking out at the world, I find myself relaxing a little. Then a little more. Yes, far away, bad things are happening. Yet right here and right now, I see no bad things. And as I smile at the song being sung by the people walking past and at the birds as they fly by, I don't feel bad or down or depressed. I don't feel alone or like the world is full of bad things and people out to hurt others. Right now, I feel like I am a part of the world, a part of the beauty and the incredible diversity of nature, a part of the wind and the singing and the trees swaying in the breeze. I sit back down and grab my laptop. Not to start editing photos - maybe tomorrow, I tell myself, only half believing it - but to write down how I'm feeling. To remind myself that even though I am just one person, I am also part of a greater whole, part of humanity, part of the world. To remind myself to have faith in humanity. To remind myself that there is more to humanity than selfishness and greed, that we are good and kind too, honest and just, loving and caring.
As I go through my emails and read articles online, I try to gently nudge myself towards my laptop's "Pictures" folder. That's where the photos live once I've downloaded them from my camera onto my laptop. That's where I need to go. That's where I need to direct my attention. Yet knowing I need to do something and actually doing it are two very different things. I'm not usually this bad with sticking to my promises, with following through. Yet lately, posting and sharing photos doesn't feel as important as it once did.
I share photos of nature and the natural world, of the beauty I see all around me, of trees and plants and flowers, Dutch landscapes and local buildings. I share encouraging messages to go with my photos - remember the beauty all around you, cherish our planet, spend time relaxing and enjoying nature, smile at the world and the world will smile at you, don't stress when you can be zen instead...
It's hard to be positive and to send out positive messages when it seems like the world is (to use a phrase I love the sound of) going to hell in a handbasket. People are fighting and killing each other over pieces of land and questions of who's right or more right, we are polluting the planet and causing entire species to go extinct, we care more about new toys and gadgets than about living beings, we seem to be more interested in selfies and being selfish than in humans and being humane, we kill living beings to eat them as if their lives don't matter one bit compared to ours, we shrug off the wrongs and the bad things in the world, simply because they're not happening anywhere near us which means we simply don't care...
It's hard to be positive when it seems like the world is made up of people who seem to care more about what some pop-star or celebrity is up to than about being kind and compassionate, when more people seem to care about a new game, toy or gadget than about war, abuse and starvation, when more people seem to care about some television show or movie than about real people and the wrongs being done to them.
While it's hard to admit as I like to think of myself as a sensible, peaceful and positive person, I feel a little worn down by the world. Or rather, by humanity. A little like I'm throwing my positivity down the drain because no-one cares anyway. When there's money to be made and fifteen minutes of fame to strive for, why would people care about the big picture anyway? This pessimism doesn't suit me, however it can be hard to shake off. While I'm certainly a little wiser and more mature than I once was, I am no saint or example of inner peace and patience. Compared to true heroes like Gandhi, Mother Theresa and the Dalai Lama, I'm a hot mess who barely keeps it together. Yet what matters is that I try and that I keep going, that I don't give up. So, I tell myself that this too will pass and that my funk will turn to positivity once again - it's only a matter of time.
I manage to look through some older photos and upload a single photo to my Facebook page. I'm happy about that - uploading a photo to social media is a positive sign, even if I didn't add a positive and / or inspirational quote. As I check another email and follow another link, I feel myself becoming engrossed in other matters not related to posting photos or quotes. War, famine, disaster, heartache, innocents being raped, tortured, killed. As I read about all that is wrong in the world, the positivity I felt upon posting that photo to Facebook disappears. Again, I try steering my thinking towards my blog and the photos I want to post, the photos I should post. Having read about death and disaster and all we're doing to hurt the planet and those who inhabit it with us, editing photos gets put in the "too hard" basket. There's a part of me that wants to change my thinking, wants to be positive right now instead of negative, wants to feel hope instead of despair. Yet that voice gets drowned out by the overwhelming sense of futility I feel. What are we doing to our planet? What are we doing to each other? Will we ever learnt to think and act like adults instead of children?
Needing a break from feeling bad about things far beyond my own control, I get up to grab a snack. I stand at the window staring out at the world. Birds fly past the window as the trees outside gently sway in the wind. The sun is shining, a pretty looking cloud catches my attention. Outside, a mother walks past with two children, they're all singing a song, smiling and looking happy. The birds flying past, they may not be singing or smiling, yet I get the feeling that they're enjoying themselves, that they too are happy.
As I stand at the window looking out at the world, I find myself relaxing a little. Then a little more. Yes, far away, bad things are happening. Yet right here and right now, I see no bad things. And as I smile at the song being sung by the people walking past and at the birds as they fly by, I don't feel bad or down or depressed. I don't feel alone or like the world is full of bad things and people out to hurt others. Right now, I feel like I am a part of the world, a part of the beauty and the incredible diversity of nature, a part of the wind and the singing and the trees swaying in the breeze. I sit back down and grab my laptop. Not to start editing photos - maybe tomorrow, I tell myself, only half believing it - but to write down how I'm feeling. To remind myself that even though I am just one person, I am also part of a greater whole, part of humanity, part of the world. To remind myself to have faith in humanity. To remind myself that there is more to humanity than selfishness and greed, that we are good and kind too, honest and just, loving and caring.
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